<8> TSE 3

12/19/23

Timing

A dear subscriber asked me how this series, TSE, came about so here’s the background.  After hearing my wife’s observation on my “100 Effort” tendency (discussed in TSE 1), I began wondering what else I’d like to get better at.  At the same time, an old videogame where you choose the car with different levels of preset qualities (like speed and power) came into mind.  Moments later, that self-improvement wondering ended with two other qualities, namely Sequence (discussed in TSE 2) and Timing (this post).  Finally, an imagery of car popped back in mind and I ended with the question, “If I’m a car with those three qualities (Timing, Sequence, and Effort), how would I look, an Acura NSX or a Ford F-350 Super Duty?” 

Of the three, Effort is my strongest quality and Timing is my weakest.  As such, I’ve always taken a keen interest in looking for and observing those that I deem quite good at Timing – how do they think about it, what is internalized in their ways of life, etc., etc.  Interestingly, I’ve been living with one such individual over the last +17 years. 

Of many observations, here are two that I can consistently pinpoint. First, she hates wasted efforts.  I’ve come to realize that a part of this is due to her generally low energy level.  She often tells me that she’s on energy conservation mode (so don’t mind me staying super quiet).  She also tells me that she spends 90% of the time planning before acting on something.  Second, she has patience (which I mightily lack) and this obviously contributes to being good at Timing.  From observing others that I also deem quite good at Timing, I’ve noted high occurrence of selectivity which translates into discernment on standards and narrowness.  Furthermore, many of these people ask the question, “When is it going to matter?”

Recently, I learned another dimension of Timing from this 17 years-plus person.  She mentioned that a crucial element of timing is compromise.  It struck me as something very novel because I almost never thought about comprising (something that feels of lower ideal, less competitive, whatnot) to increase timing.  She humorously retorted one evening when we were discussing TSE.  “Imagine if I told myself after meeting you: I can do much better than this (that would be me) so he’s a No Go.  Imagine I did that over and over … possible that I may be still single?”  She added, “He’s good enough so let’s give it a try!”  Taking aside how I am supposed to feel about this (“good enough”) 😊, I thought the notion of compromise was really interesting.  Because we are so greedy and so focused on me-me-me, we often fail to compromise.  What a difference it would make if we were to start compromising!

So if your life is a car with only those three qualities – Timing, Sequence, and Effort, how would you look?  If you are good at timing, please reach out and share your insights – lunch on me!